A Holistic Approach to Love

A holistic approach focuses on the big picture – in love, the most important variable is you.

By redirecting energy, love and compassion to yourself, you are signaling to the Universe (and reaffirming to yourself) what kind of love you desire and what kind of love you deserve.

The path to receiving love is simple – love yourself first, heal your own wounds, and love will follow.


Step 1 | Love Yourself First


And I mean, really love yourself. No one can take care of yourself the way you can. You are the only one who knows what you need now and later. Take an honest look at how you’re taking care of yourself now and ask yourself the questions below…

On your body

  • Do you eat what brings you joy?

  • Do you move in ways that feel good?

  • Do you get enough sleep?

  • Do you Love what you see when you look in the mirror?  

If there’s a hesitation to any of those, dig deeper:

  • How do I honor my body now?

  • How will I honor my body going forward?

  • What actions can I take to make myself feel good?

On your mind

  • Do you follow your intuition?

  • Are you in tune with how you feel?

  • How do you take care of yourself when something feels off?

These are important questions to check in with daily. Make sure you’re listening to what your mind and body is asking for.

On taking time for you

The two most important questions to ask yourself are:

  • What in my life do I do now that I wish you wasn’t doing? And, what can I stop doing now?

  • How can I honor my interests and passions going forward?  

It’s time to stop doing things for other people or because “it’s the right thing to do”. Giving yourself permission to do what you want is one of the nicest things you can do for yourself. By doing this, it gives you space to fill in the blanks with things that bring you happiness. This can take some practice if you’re not used to it. But OH, does it feel good when you get the hang of it.

On being kind to yourself

  • How is the voice in your head treating you?

  • What, if any adjustments can be made?

Give yourself some TLC.

You’re the whole package. You’re everything. You’re perfect. You’re smart. You’re amazing. You’re special because you’re you.

Your thoughts are to be adjusted to reflect that.


Step 2 | Heal Your Own Wounds


Dating can bring to the forefront insecure energies that are lurking the shadows. Thoughts like…

I’m not good enough.

I’m a failure.

I’m bad.

I’m irresponsible.

I’m disgusting. 

these all point to ‘shame’ – a feeling that devalues the self. Operating on these beliefs can show up in a multitude of ways, including self-sabotage, negative self-talk, being the victim, and judgement.

Investigating and raising awareness of what you believe about yourself is the first step in letting them go. Know you don’t have to hold on to anything you’ve identified with in the past or now. You can release old feelings and beliefs at anytime.

While other people are great sounding boards to figuring out your truth, know that no boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, parent or therapist can heal these thoughts for you – only you can do this work for yourself.


Step 3 | Love Will Follow

Know and trust that love will come – love is already all around you. Find ways to be happy and grateful for the life you have and are creating for yourself. Don’t worry about the details of what’s to unfold, just focus on what makes you feel good.